Ready or not

My little pumpkin is due in TWO DAYS and I can't believe we are already here. We are moved into our new house for the most part. I keep thinking I'm going to get a rush of motivation (nesting??) and unpack the last of the boxes or make an effort to decorate the nursery really cute but it hasn't happened yet. For now it is what it is and we are just happy to have gotten this far. We have been enjoying the gorgeous Utah fall. October is spectacular. Ben and I got a night away up at the Alaskan Inn for our 6th anniversary which was wonderful while the girls had a fun sleepover with Grandma and Grandpa. My sister convinced us to get Cornbellys season passes and they have been well worth the money and tons of fun. We had a girls night out at Gardners Village, went to the zoo, and have been outside a lot enjoying the lovely crisp sunny weather and leaves. I am trying to soak up the precious few days I have left with just my Eve and Rose before their sister comes. 

 My sisters and mom threw me an amazing Motherhood Ceremony in place of a shower and it couldn't have been more perfect. I was nervous everyone might think it was a little over the top or wacky but people just went a long with it and we had a great time. We made flower head wreaths and drank raspberry tea. We sat on the floor in a circle and Alex officiated in some beautiful poetry and a chord bracelet ceremony. We made birth affirmation flags to hang in the delivery room and Erin scrubbed my feet with oatmeal and massaged them with essential oils. We feasted on butternut squash soup and apple crisp and then everyone took turns decorating my enormous stretched belly with henna. I was spoiled with wonderful, thoughtful gifts to help prepare me for labor and for extra energy and comfort upon returning home. It was very different and a little nutty but mostly just magical. I laid awake half the night when it was over and kept reliving the whole thing. I haven't felt so special or loved or supported since my wedding day. A million thanks to my sisters, mom, and friends for giving me such a gift.

 

 

 

 

My focus has shifted over the last couple weeks from being in limbo in my parents basement and completely swallowed up in birth reading material to moving into our house and getting things unpacked and settled. Not being so engrossed in it has had an impact on my motivation to go al naturale. Every time I get a more painful contraction or cramp I get pretty scared thinking about real labor and how the pain will go on for HOURS and get A WHOLE LOT worse. Reality check. It is a lot easier to think and talk about it as a future event but the fact that it could be happening anytime now (in fact, I NEED it to happen pretty darn quick) has me a little spooked. I'm dedicating myself to get back into my books and breathing exercises and think more positively. My OB says she will let me go till 41 weeks before scheduling a C-section. I'm surprisingly happy and comfortable just staying pregnant but time is running short.  I don't want to heal from another c-section or watch that poor scar grow and stretch across my abdomen again in the following months. I've done it several times and it's painful and emotional and frustrating.

But what will be, will be. For now, I am going on power walks, bouncing on my birth ball, doing squats and jogging my stairs, drinking raspberry leaf tea, eating pineapple and dates, and taking evening primrose oil.  I had a labor inducing massage yesterday that didn't seem to do much and a sweet girl in my ward is doing some reflexology on my feet tomorrow to try to bring on labor. I pulled a muscle the other night dangling from a tree branch because my labor-coach-sister said it would help...

Okay Baby Girl, it's go time.