New Normal

October, October. Best time of year. I can't believe almost a whole month has gone by and I haven't even thought to blog. I need to find a new routine but our lives are about to get turned upside down all over again so it may be a while before I settle into better habits of blogging....cleaning...making dinner... exercising... and just about everything. I've just let myself relax into this routine of limbo.

We are still at my parents house but that is about to come to a close because we move into our new house sometime this weekend or the beginning of next week. It'll be wonderful to start hopefully getting settled and organized in our own space before this little baby comes. I'm not looking forward to the work involved and we will be sad to leave the comforts of grandmas house. They've been so good to us.

We bought a house in Sandy, right below Little Cottonwood Canyon. We are getting used to the idea of living back in Utah but I'm still constantly taken aback by the gorgeous mountains. I love them and hope I never get over it and start taking them for granted. All I want to do is drive up and enjoy them. We've had some fun family weenie roasts up Millcreek canyon, gone walking up at Brighton and through Memory Grove, gone to breakfast with good friends up Emigration, and gone on an adventure up in Park City. I've been trying to get a camping trip organized ever since we got here but rain, trips to Colorado, and other conflicts keep foiling my plans and now it's probably too cold. Bummer.The proximity and views of the mountains are the biggest thing that drew us to this new house and area. You just can't beat 'em.

Evelyn and Rosemary are loving preschool and so am I. Besides that very first day, I have yet to use the time for napping but it sure is fabulous to have a time for appointments and errands. They love their teachers and I will be sad to have to transfer them somewhere closer to us after we get moved and settled.
Ben is also still loving his job and it seems to be a great fit for him. We feel very blessed that so much has fallen into place. I can't believe that 2 months ago we were barely making this decision to move and all that has happened since. It is finally hitting me that we aren't going back to Colorado and I know it will be even more apparent when we are no longer leaching off my parents and in our own place. I keep getting caught off guard by little moments of missing my friends and my routine and my life back there. It was a good one and I know it is going to take some time to fully establish a new normal here. We moved just in time before the massive rain and flooding in Colorado. Luckily we only suffered from minor flooding in the basement and poor Ben having to turn around and drive back to Salt Lake 3 hours into the trip due to closed, flooded freeways. Pretty nuts.

Lately I've been obsessed with reading and learning everything I can about childbirth. I have always thought it would be awesome to deliver naturally but have had it in my head that it would never be an option. My mom and older sister delivered all their babies by C-section and that's how my girls came into this world as well. Plus my dad is an anesthesiologist at the hospital I will deliver at so the idea of natural birth has always felt like something awesome that OTHER people do.

It's one of those things I've been afraid to say out loud because of what other people might think, because I might end up wussing out and not being able to do it, and mostly because I may end up with preeclampsia again or fail to progress on my own and then I'll have set myself up for disappointment.  But why not me? I've decided to just dive in and try for what I really want even though it may not be in the cards. I don't want to be one of those people that are so engrossed in their birth plan and come away all distraught and bitter that it didn't go the way they had hoped. But I also want to be the kind of person that is brave enough to say and try for what they want...in all things. This birth is a small example but I think I've always been a little cowardly in that way.

I just want to prepare for what could hopefully be an option. I'm on my fourth book about natural childbirth and even though they generally say similar things, I am loving reading and learning about it. Even if I end up in a C-section again, I will be happy I spent the time digging into this material and contemplating and appreciating this pregnancy more. I have my doctor and my Ben behind me and I've also been interviewing doulas to help assist at the birth. We made this decision late in the game and our lives are kind of nuts right now so we don't have time to take a class. I think an extra person to help encourage and coach both of us through the process will be helpful.

Today I'm 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant and never been this far along before. It has me thinking this baby is going to come any day now but the reality is she will probably stay snug as a bug inside for another month. I'm so ready to be done with pregnancy and the discomforts but I also don't want to let it go. I'm nervous for life with a newborn and my two crazy girls. I also remember really missing being pregnant when it ended last time. It was most likely because Rose and Eve spent the first 3 weeks in the NICU, Ben was off working in Colorado, and I was a mess of hormones but I remember feeling really lonely those first few weeks and wishing I was still carrying them with me everywhere I went. Pregnancy can be hard but I love having my baby so close to me and so easy to take care of.

I'm trying to remember that during my long nights of insomnia due to the 4 million necessary trips to the bathroom and the crazy BH contractions that keep me tossing and turning. All too soon I'll be up for other reasons.

 

34 weeks

36 weeks