Birthday Boy

 This handsome fellow turned 29 this week. On his birthday we drove into Boulder to have a picnic lunch together and enjoy the beautiful 60 degree weather we have been enjoying this week. On the way home the girls fell asleep in the car and then wouldn't take a decent nap. That was the time I allotted to decorating the  carrot cake I made him but the afternoon ended up being crazy so I had to settle for a fast, sloppy job. Oh well-- it was delicious. We went out to dinner that night at the Bone Fish Grill while our wonderful friends the Gerbers babysat. We had planned on singing happy birthday and having cake after but by the time we got home it was almost 8 o'clock and the girls were going bananas. Ben and I had are own little private party but then decided to reenact it the next night so the girls could enjoy the celebration too. They love a good party.

I swear he gets better looking, more fit, sweeter, more accomplished and ambitious, and generally more incredible every year. I continue to get fatter and slowly lose more of my mind and attain more scars and flaws. It hardly seems fair but I'll count my lucky stars he's mine.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

Thirty years old. I thought a lot about turning the big 3-0 right after I turned 29 and then forgot it was coming until it was already here. I think I love the idea of being 30 for the most part but I'm also sad to leave my 20s behind. I was generally very happy in my 20s. It didn't have the drama and self deprecation of being a teenager and so exiting this phase of life doesn't come with that lovely sense of relief. It just feels old.  I don't need any more reason to shrug my shoulders and succumb to being a chubby, boring mom in sweats everyday but as long as I continue to set goals and move forward, there is no reason for that to be my future.

 I love the place I am in my life. I have no regrets. Thirty sounds very grown up. You're not a girl in your thirties you are a WOMAN-- which I don't really consider myself but maybe I should.  Thirty year olds can stop comparing themselves to all those teeny-bopper 21 year olds and their superficial lives. They're past that and have moved on to something better. They know who they are and make no apologies. They are old enough to slow down a bit and perhaps appreciate life and their relative youth a little more.

 I'm far more confident entering this decade than I was entering the last. I'm far more comfortable in my own skin, I don't care or compare near as much as I used to and I love that. I was so lost when I turned 20. I hadn't done anything and didn't know who I was or what I really believed at all. It makes me wonder how my life will look when I turn 40 when I ponder on how much changed in the last 10. Rosie and Evie will be twelve years old and even that alone is too much to grasp. Life seems too long and too short all at once.

I had an incredible birthday. I didn't have very high expectations for this milestone birthday but I couldn't have asked for anything more. On the eve of my 30th, I had a long day babysitting another little boy and decided to take the night off and pamper myself with a pedicure and a free makeover at Sephora. A friend gave me a big bouquet of flowers and I opened an awesome birthday package my family had sent. The next morning some dear friends made me the best breakfast of my life including a big gluten free chocolate cake. We ended up skipping the gym and staying all morning and letting the kids play. It was lovely. You would think being a stay at home mom, you would have lots of time to sit with your girlfriends and gab but with so many young kids wanting attention every second and so many differing nap, school, and other schedules it doesn't happen very easily or often. There are usually so many distractions and starts and stops during a playdate that an entire decent conversation is hard to get through. But the stars aligned that morning and it was just what I needed.

Shortly after I got home and put the girls down to nap, fabulous Cindy showed up to babysit and Ben and I were off to Estes Park to spend the night. We had a long leisurely dinner, went to an Irish barn dance which was part of the Winter Festival and had smores and hot chocolate, went hot tubbing, and cuddled up for a movie. Ben even surprised me with a beautiful silver locket he picked out all on his own. It's perfect and I can't wait to get pictures inside it. We slept in and then went to Claire's for breakfast, took a walk by the lake, and couldn't leave without getting Ben his favorite cherry vanilla ice cream. We came home to our sweet girls and got to watch Sadie so Cindy and Chris could have a night away too. Cute, cute cousins and sanity saving swaps.

Best Birthday Ever. Thirty is lookin promising.

 

Resolutions

I have been putting off this post. Whenever I think of the resolutions I made last year the only ones that pop into my mind are potty training and IVF-- both of which were attempted but so far unsuccessful. They will be moved on into resolutions for this year and that is a little discouraging. But after reviewing, I realize there were some goals that were made and met and others that were certainly improved on. I can be happy enough with that.

Here are the resolutions I made for 2012. 

• Continue our improved scripture study routine: DONE. I must say that as far as scripture study goes, this year has been one of my best yet. I was a part of a GET FIT challenge with some friends and it involved spiritual and physical challenges. I read my scriptures or other church related material every day for 12 weeks straight and came in 2nd place. It was so good for me and came at the perfect time. We finished the challenge right around Thanksgiving and that is when I found out I wasn't pregnant. I was really grateful that I had really worked on my relationship with my Father in Heaven because I think that gave me a perspective and comfort I really needed. I didn't have to search for it when the hurt came because it was already there.
• Get to the DENVER temple: DONE.
• Stay for the entire 3 hour block of church rather than switching off taking the girls home to nap: DONE. With morning church and having the girls in nursery, church was wonderful. 
• Find 5 new recipes good enough to include in the dinner rotation: Not quite. I haven't been cooking very much lately and when I do I tend to stick to our favorites... but I did add a few I can think of: Calazones, Cilantro Lime Chicken, Black Bean Enchiladas.
• Eat fruits or veggies at EVERY meal: Nope. Still needs work.
• Wash my face EVERY night: Nope. Washed my face far more than the year before but not every night.
• Do IVF again this year to grow our family: We did but it didn't take. :(
• Have date night twice a month: Hmmmm No. But we did go out much more than the year before.
• Landscape the backyard. Plant a garden.: DONE.
• Attempt potty training my two angels: Kind of. We started on New Years Eve. We still have a long way to go.
• Work with Rosie and Evie every morning during breakfast on new words rather than waiting till bed when everyone is tired: Not every morning but we have done a lot of work together and the girls are definitely progressing. 
• Get rid of Rosie's binky in the near future: DONE. Rosie was a champ. 
• Continue to do some sort of workout video, gym, or long walk every day: Not every day but most days. We are so grateful for our very affordable, amazing gym right up the street and are there 4-5 days a week.  Ran my first half marathon which was an unplanned but awesome accomplishment this year. 
• Go into the gym two mornings a week before work (ben): Not in the morning but in the evenings and played basketball with the ward on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He just got signed up to play on a league which is very exciting.
• Continue enjoying the little things, treasuring Rosie and Evie, and making trips to SLC: DONE.
• Don't sweat the small stuff and be patient with my girls: DONE (to the best of my abilities).
• Try new restaurants: We could do this better but we did try to be more adventuresome this year.
•  Find new fun things or mini vacations around Colorado: DONE.   

 I have brainstorming resolutions for the upcoming year and haven't come up with anything huge. I think I'm nervous to be too ambitious because there were a lot of goals from last year I still need to work on. I hate not meeting my goals but I sure do love setting them.

1.  Get my dumplings completely potty trained but in a non stressed, positive manner. 
2.  Attempt IVF again and either become pregnant OR run another half marathon. Both good things.
3.  BE HAPPY and take life as it comes and know there is a time and a season for all things. Don't worry about what you can't control. Get through the winter without turning into a zombie and getting depressed.
4. Finish Rosemary and Evelyn's book and get the photos organized on the computer.
5. Continue good habits of scripture study, family prayer, personal prayer, and family home evening.
6. Attend more full sessions at the Temple whether as a couple or individually.
7. Continue to go to the gym at least 3 times a week, work out, and be healthy.
8. Eat more fruits and veggies.
9. Again, try new recipes to add to the dinner rotation.
10. Magnify my calling and be happy doing it.  
11.  Attempt to decrease the time spent on my phone in the presence of my children and husband. It's obnoxious.
12. Get comfortable and try new things with the awesome new camera Ben got me for Christmas.
13. Continue reading other good literature. Before I joined my bookclub it was taking me forever to get through a book because it was always the last thing on my list to do. I have loved making it a higher priority and always having a story to come back to everyday.
14. STOP complaining. Replace with gratitude. There is certainly a time and  a place and "VENTING" is perfectly ok. But I do a lot of random complaining as a source of humor or to be conversational.  People may be under the impression that I'm not crazy about my husband or my perfect little girls or my life when just the opposite is true.
15. Spend more time on the floor engaging in focused play with my Eve and Rose. They are at such a fun age and love to pretend. I want to be a part of their imaginary world as much as I can.

And that's that. Here's to another wonderful year of attempted resolutions.

The last two weeks in photos:

Happy New Year

 I feel completely unmotivated to blog. We've been working on potty training and it takes it out of me. It also means that when nap time finally rolls around, not only am I more tired than usual but the house is much messier. Rather than getting out and doing activities or running errands or keeping on top of it throughout the morning, I have been completely focused on chasing these crazy girls and trying to anticipate every dribble of pee. (which in Rosie's case is seriously about 10 times an hour or in Evie's case about 1 every 3 hours...very different girls) and allowing the house to get destroyed. Ugh.


 It is getting better. We started on Monday and I'm glad we did because Ben was home to undergo the roughest day. Tuesday we pretty much bagged because when Evie woke up she couldn't put any weight on her right foot and couldn't walk. Walking takes precedent over being a big girl. We took her to Urgent Care to get x-rays and they were clear. We think she pulled a muscle or had a cold settle in her hip. But Wednesday came and she was fine and we started again. I've decided to just take it half days at a time or even just 3-4 hours at a time. It helps me stay positive and is less overwhelming for all of us. I don't have it in me to go all day. It may be a little confusing to switch back and forth and may end up taking longer but for now this is all I can muster. Today we had no accidents from 8:45-12 and decided to quit while we are ahead.
 
We had a wonderful time ringing in the New Year with some great friends and were very grateful for a much needed escape from the potty training torture prison.

Reviewing 2012:

January:
Ben and I celebrated our birthdays and passed the stomach flu around. Rosie and Evie turned 18 months old and could FINALLY go to nursery which was awesome. I was surprised to read that at this point Rosie was the quieter and shyer of the two but that has definitely changed.  Nowadays, Evie still does quite a bit of babbling especially when she is lost in her imaginary play but Rosie has zoomed ahead with decipherable language and is more comfortable socializing. These girls change every day.


February:
We went to Salt Lake and spent much of the week up in Park City with the family. The girls came home with colds and ear infections. This was not a good month for Rosie. She burned her tiny ear on my flat iron earlier in the month and then later got pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital for a very long 4 days.
 

March:
February took it out of me and I got depressed. I was in a winter rut and didn't really climb out of it until my parents came in town for a quick visit. Learned the importance of taking mommy breaks, sunshine, and exercise. Longingly awaiting spring.

April: 
We went to SLC for Easter and had such a great trip. We spent much of the time outside playing in the sunshine. Ben re-landscaped the back yard and got rid of all the gravel, laid sod, and built a fire pit and planter boxes. Superman. I started running.

May: 
We went on an awesome trip to Steamboat Springs with Ben's family and started getting good use out of our hiking backpacks. Ben's parents and Cindy and Chris stayed and played back at home for a couple days and Daniel and Becca joined us too. I had PRK done to fix my eyes which has been an awesome blessing. Ben and I ran the BolderBOULDER over Memorial Day.



June: 
My wonderful friends Elizabeth, Shawna, Kim, and Suzanna came and visited for a fun filled weekend. I flew out to Salt Lake for one night to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday and had a blast. Our gorgeous girls turned 2 years old!


July: 
One of my dearest friends Tami came for a visit. Celebrated the 4th of July with family and friends. Sand, surf, and sun at Newport Beach. Great runs. Disneyland. Partied hard the rest of the month in Salt Lake. Celebrated Pioneer Day and ran my first half marathon with my big sis.


August: 
Watched the Olympics every chance we got. Sucked up every last second of summer.


September:
We celebrated Labor Day and a blue-moon weekend up in Estes Park. Great time of the year to go. We had Ben's family in town to welcome his little brother home from his mission and had a great time. I went to Time Out For Women with some gals and made some new friends and loved it. My little bro flew in for about 24 hours for a med school interview and it was so fun to hang out with him. We welcomed fall with a trip up to Squaw Pass.


October:
We celebrated our 5 year anniversary by going to Red Rocks for a Jason Mraz concert in the rain and then later in the month met up with my family to see some plays at the Shakespeare Festival. Then our little family went on to Zion for some unbelievable hiking. We started taking meds for our IVF cycle. We did a lot of raking in the back yard and spent many a morning at the pumpkin patch. My parents came in for a quick fun visit on their way home from Winter Quarters. We got a bad case of the croup but still had a great Halloween with our ladybugs.


November:
We went to SLC for IVF. The whole process went much better than expected but didn't result in success. :( Ben's family came in town right after for Thanksgiving and it was great to have them here.


December: 
We had a busy and festive holiday season in Colorado and it was just what I needed. It was so much fun celebrating with two 2 year olds and all the magic that brings. We went to Salt Lake (for the fifth time this year.....I know) and had a wonderful holiday.

This was a very time consuming post but so fun to write. I went back and read just about everything from the past year and am so overwhelmed by what an amazing 12 months we have had. I am so lucky to have such  a great, supportive husband, two perfect girls, and so many fun times together. We are so lucky to have such wonderful family and to have gotten to see so much of them this year. I'm so grateful for our good friends here, the ones we get to see so often in Salt Lake, and the ones we miss but stay in touch with. We had an amazing year filled with lots of joy and many blessings. 

Resolutions to come.