goals and effort

We had an awesome Memorial Day weekend. We FINALLY made it to the Denver Temple and it was wonderful. It has been on our to-do list for too long and we have goals set to get back again soon. I appreciate it even more now that it seems so much harder to go. Sitting and just being still and quiet is such a blessing. We just took turns doing intiatories but even the time I spent out on the grounds with the girls was rejuvenating and sweet. The effort to get there is so worth it.

We also had friends over for a weenie roast and went to a BBQ and a birthday party.

 We ran the Boulder Boulder today which is a really fun 10K jam packed with hooligans. The streets are lined with OLD wrinkled bejeweled women belly dancing, kids passing out marshmallows, doritos, bacon, and beer and spraying runners with water guns and hoses. Bands, karaoke stops, kissing booths, and muddy slip n slides on peoples lawns make for an interesting run. Even with all the distractions, I still felt like it was hard. I have been running five miles several times a week and have done 6.5 a couple times and felt pretty good.  I was counting on adrenaline and the "race day high" people keep talking about to help carry me through but it just wasn't there for me. I had a really great time but it didn't make the actual moving my body part any easier. I felt heavy and slow and that was disappointing.

I had two goals for race day, one spoken and one secret. 
1. Finish in under an hour.
2. Beat Ben.

Failed on both fronts.
I finished the 6.2 miles in 62 minutes which I can live with. It wasn't under an hour but is consistent with the average 10 minute mile pace I've been keeping. I know that seems snail-like to a real runner, but it's pretty great for me.

Ben crushed me. He ran it in 56 minutes. I wouldn't begrudge him at all if I felt like he earned it with more actual training. Basketball, spinning, and 2 mile runs on the treadmill don't count.
He's a rock star.








 I, on the other hand,  have been running my tail off. In fact I'm 100% positive I've covered more miles running in the last month than I have in my entire life combined which is pretty pathetic. I've always hated running with all my heart and have actually gotten to a place where I get some enjoyment from it. Mostly it's just sheer amazement that I am capable of doing it.

Running is rewarding. It makes me happier and less stressed. I love focusing on miles moved instead of calories consumed. It makes me feel strong and healthy. It makes me feel closer to a me I always wished I was. All this is true but I definitely think I enjoy the idea of being a "runner" more than I actually enjoy running. I'm a work in progress.

 I'm signed up to do a half marathon with my sister in July which kinda makes me feel like puking. After today, I'm much more nervous. I always told my self that ONE DAY I wanted to run a half but right now I feel like letting that goal slip into the "before I die" category and out of "plans for the summer". 



Originally, I convinced myself to do it because I'm turning the big 3-0 in a few short months. Time to check off some goals. I'm also hoping to get pregnant sometime around then too and will get good and fat again. No more running for me. And my sister and some other family and friends are all signed up so that is certainly motivating.

Lots of good reasons to run, run, run and seemingly the perfect time to make this happen. It's unfortunate that even with all the best goals, distractions, motivations and support in the world there are no short cuts. YOU have to put in the training, the effort, the time and pound out every... single...step.
Which is the best and the worst of it. Mostly the worst.