angry february

Leap day????boo. At our house we are not interested in even one more day of this crumby month. I apologize up front for this post. I'm not in a good place right now and just writing to occupy myself to keep from jumping out the window.

Thank heavens for March and spring being on its way which will hopefully mean healthy, happy kids. I swear the only purpose of February is to provide opposition so you can really appreciate the other months. We have seriously been sick since the stomach bug we got over our birthday weekend, January 20th. It has just been one thing after another. The bug we got in SLC turned into a nasty ear infection that had morphed into something strong enough to be resistant to a ten day course of amoxicillin. Then we caught some new crazy cough/cold once we got home. Last weekend was probably the worst we have had in our lives of being parents. Starting Friday night the girls were up all night coughing and crying almost every hour. The next day we called the on-call doctor and nurses line and answered about a million questions. We discussed going in but it was decided we were doing all we could and that we just needed to hang in there. But something didn't feel right. Rosie was out of it and super sleepy but it was easy to justify because clearly she didn't feel well and had had terribly interrupted sleep. Saturday night was a little better. After about one in the morning the girls stopped having such violent and repeated coughing fits and we all got about five hours of somewhat solid sleep. But that awful pit of worry was still very present. Sunday was similar. Lots of coughing with lots of worry and a Rosie that just wasn't herself. But we decided to just wait till Monday because as we talked to more people, it sounded like every kid in the neighborhood seemed to have the exact same thing.

After another rough night, Rosie woke up with a rash of little pink bumps all over her body. We talked to the nurse and she said the soonest we could get in was 4:00. ugh.
To make a long story a little shorter we went in and Rosemary was clearly not doing well. The pulse oximeter read 70 and they rushed in with a nebulizer and a tank of oxygen and we were taken right upstairs to the pediatric unit of he hospital. And that's where we have been rotting away since Monday. We had a very traumatic first night of huge shots given simultaneously in both thighs to get stronger antibiotic in her system, four iv stab attempts (both hands and feet) before finally finding success, chest x ray, and several terrible suctions from a three inch long tube being shoved all the way up her nose. Since then-- its been pretty quiet. Rosie has pneumonia in her right middle and lower lobe of her lungs along with that pesky ear infection.

If I had thought to blog Tuesday or even most the day Wednesday it would've been a far different post. It would have been all about how grateful I am for good doctors ( Dr B especially) and good hospitals, and nights with no coughing, and sweet nurses, and surprisingly good hospital food. I would probably talk about how important it is to listen to your instincts and not doubt yourself. If you think something is wrong...you're most likely right. I might mention how wonderful it was to spend time alone with Rosie and Evie on their own. They are so much better behaved one on one and I realized how splendid it must be to have one toddler and to not have to CONSTANTLY break up arguments. I would ramble about awesome husbands with kind, understanding bosses and super moms willing to drop everything and fly in. I would have to include the rest of my wonderful supportive family, lovely friends, and much needed hospital visits. Most of all I would say how thankful I am for my beautiful little girls and how much I love them. We had our prayers answered several times this past week and I know we are being looked after. And I am grateful. I am. I am. I am.But for now I mostly just want to complain.... we are soooooo ready to come home.We were so glad to be in the hospital the first couple days because we could stop worrying and knew Rose was gettng what she needed. But that time has passed. I am not using the quiet moments to sit and think nice thoughts anymore. The walls are closing in on me this morning and I'm sick and tired of everything moving slow and nurses disappearing for hours at a time. I've been pacing the floor, staring out the door window like a little spy- trying to figure out when the doctor is FINALLY going to come by and trying to overhear the conversations the nurses are having. Crazy mom. If I'm not doing that I'm looking at the menu for the ten-thousandth time debating on my next order to induce a food coma. RELAX...We were told we would get to go home last night and now every hour since has felt like a punishment. Rosie has been off oxygen for 17 hours already and has been doing great. Shes eating and drinking and back to her normal self... albeit a little bored, still a little fearful of anyone who comes in the door to poke her, and so tired of being tangled up in tubes. Let us go home!!!!!!!

Ok-- so it's hours later. I wrote all that early this morning and considered deleting it and starting over with a more positive, sane twist...but I'm too exhausted. It's about 4:30 now and we are home and the world is a better place. I AM so thankful for all the things mentioned above and I can say it without all the animosity now. Ooof-- what a week. The nurse finally let me know that the doctor was planning on coming in around six-ish tonight to see how we were doing and I had a break down. I just couldn't bear the thought of entertaining a restless Rosie for several more hours unnecessarily while Evie was being babysat at home by Cindy. I acted like a lunatic and cried and told her I needed to go home. In retrospect it's unclear to me why I was so riled up and it certainly wasn't my best moment but she did make things happen for us. She brought me a wagon so I could take Rosie on a ride with her IV pole in tow. I think she really liked it but it was hard to tell. About a dozen nurses tried to stop and talk to us but Rosie either gave them her stone cold face or welled up with tears. She's had enough of anyone wearing scrubs. Me too. About twenty minutes later Dr B came to our room, gave Rosie a listen to, and said we were free to go. Just like that. I feel kind of bad I had to make such a stink to get us out of there but sometimes it's the only way to get the wheels turning. So, so happy to be sitting at my kitchen table with both my girls sleeping upstairs and knowing that they are safe and healthy (atleast reasonably so). Welcome Home Rosie party tonight. xo