Baby Lily

My older sister had Lily on Sunday morning. Ben and I were planning on heading to Salt Lake on Friday to come and see her but we had a quick change of plans. We were sitting in sacrament meeting waiting for more texts and pics of this new sweet baby and Ben turned to me and said: "You need to be with your family." We drove home from church, packed up the car, and less then 2 hours later we were on the road. Thank you to my wonderful husband for getting me here.

Lily is my sisters fourth daughter, and second born with partial trisomy 16 partial monosomy 9...which is a chromosomal problem. Charlotte was her first trisomy baby and passed away February 2009 at 3 1/2 years old after being loved and obsessed over by everyone that knew her. We weren't sure how long Lily would be here but after a couple scary days, it seems she is here to stay for awhile. She is still in the NICU but is making progress everyday. My sister is an amazing writer and also a nurse and is therefore much better at conveying the details on her blog which is http://booferd.blogspot.com. We've been to the hospital a lot but somehow I always forget my camera...these pics are courtesy of her blog.

It has been so, so good to be here. So special to see such a beautiful new baby. So nice to be with my sister and family. So fun to have my girls play with their cousins, aunts, uncle and grandparents. Ben kept telling me during my bouts with homesickness that I was idealizing Utah but it turns out I wasn't. It really is THAT great.

Visiting Lily in the NICU has brought back so many memories from when Rosie and Evie were there. All the beeping alarms and tubes. Bad memories of postpartum sobbing, loneliness, and rocking babies that won't finish their bottles. But also really sweet memories of being there late at night with Ben on the Fourth of July. Being with my mom there in the mornings. Good friends making a special effort to come and see them.

While they were there, Ben and I talked about Charlotte a lot. I miss that little girl. We always knew Rosemary and Evelyn were going to be just fine but we got a tiny glimpse of how hard it is to have babies in the hospital. It is torture watching them be poked and pricked and not being able to take them home with you. I don't know how my sister and her husband survived it the first time with Charlotte, and now they are starting round 2 with Lily.

But I do know that they can do it. This is what life is all about. I know these babies are special and have a very important mission. They receive a body and are born into an eternal family which I think is the only part of their mission that is for themselves. They don't ever walk to take themselves places or talk to tell you what they would like to do. Their mission is selfless. Charlotte brought so much joy and love with her and strengthened our family more during her short life than any other single event. Having children teaches us so much about service and sacrifice and real Christ-like love. It helps us learn how to love like our Father in Heaven loves us and to become the kind of people He needs us to be. I don't think anything else comes close. These special babies intensify the process and have the power to extend that teaching and love beyond just their parents but into the world around them. They are the most humble, beautiful, tender of teachers. Their presence extends the arms of heaven.

I'm so grateful to have the Gospel and these beautiful truths in my life. I am so grateful that families are forever and that one day I'll be able to hug and thank Charlotte for everything she did. For now though, I'm so excited to get to know baby Lily and learn from her.

Pumpkin Patch

We went to a darling pumpkin patch last Friday run by a family of farmers. It had a little stacked hay maze for kids, a pretty impressive corn maze for us, and one of those great pumpkin fields and red wagons for you to go find your perfect pumpkin. It had farm animals and new baby kittens and a barn dog. Completely free family fun. Well...completely free for those that don't get a $105 speeding ticket on their way to said pumpkin patch. Boo.

I love fall and Halloween and everything that comes with it. I love temperatures in the 60s and 70s. I love that wonderful crisp dry leaf smell and wearing sweaters and boots. I love crunching through the leaves and baking pumpkin cookies, pies, and breads. I love fall and Halloween decorations and having a bowl of candy corn on the table. Home feels so much more homey in the fall...even away from home.

Three Years

Today is our actual anniversary. Three years. I feel like we have been married forever but it blows my mind that many people live to see their 50th anniversaries...and a rare few even see 75! Insane. Ben and I both agree that making it to our 60th is a good goal and a plenty long enough life.

I thought I would write today to pay a little tribute to my sweetheart. Benjamin La Salle Meakin is the love of my life and the best husband in the world. I dated some real bums in my day and I thank my lucky stars that Ben found me and convinced me to marry him. I was kind of a ninny and didn't feel like I was ready to get married but it was the best decision he ever made for me.

For those of you that know Ben, you've probably noticed that he isn't the type that makes a big, warm, friendly effort in social situations. Although this trait can at times drive me nuts-- he makes up for it 100 times over in the effort he makes at home. He is so good to me. He is endlessly patient and understanding and loyal. He bends over backwards to make me happy, to protect me, and to make sure I'm comfortable. I am constantly surprised by how much he exceeds my expectations of what a husband and father should do. He works hard, he cleans, he cooks, he gets up with the babies, and puts up with all my shenanigans without complaint. He tells me he loves me a dozen times a day and we literally have a conversation about how lucky we are to have each other several times a week.

While we were at the hot springs in Steamboat last weekend (our very first evening away from Rosie and Evie) we took turns listing off our favorite memories from the last three years. We talked about the birth of our girls, finding out we were pregnant, going to Europe, to Seattle, to Hawaii, to DC, our honeymoon, camping trips, driving to Cedar City to get our puppy Clover and many, many others. I love being married to Ben and our life together. He is my perfect guy.

Gratitude in Steamboat

We went to Steamboat Springs for Conference weekend and to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. It was just what I needed. I wouldn't say I am completely de-funked but it was a very good step in the right direction. We went to the exact same place and did almost the exact same things we did last year on this very same weekend. We ate breakfast at the darling Creekside Cafe where Ben loves their french toast sandwich, went hiking, went to the hot springs (this time we were brave and used a babysitting service), worked out, got ice cream (to cancel-out the exercise), enjoyed the beautiful autumn leaves, and watched Conference.

Last year, we were coming from SLC and it was in Steamboat that Ben had his first phone interview which eventually landed him the job at Qualcomm and brought us to Colorado. Last year, I laid in bed crying because I felt like we were never going to have a baby. A dear friend of mine had just miscarried her IVF twins and I was waiting and waiting to get the go ahead to start our next cycle. The whole process seemed so unfair and daunting and hopeless.

One year later exactly, what a different place we are in. How very lucky are we. President Monsons talk on gratitude was just what I needed to hear. "To live life with gratitude in your heart is to touch heaven."
Steamboat Springs October 2009


Streamboat Springs October 2010