Easy

Ben asked Rosie this morning who she loved more, mommy or daddy? She yelled "daddy!" without a moments hesitation. Easy choice. We weren't sure she understood the question so we asked her again. She yelled daddy again and ran and wrapped her arms around him. Hmmm... No big surprise to me I guess. When Evie was asked she looked from me to Ben and kept quiet. Smart girl. She knows a loaded question when she hears one.

This brought on a conversation about how much easier it is for dads to be the favorite. It isn't just because they get to come home at the end of the day and wrestle on the floor and be fun and playful while moms stand at the sink cleaning up dinner. There is just something simpler and special about dads and daughters. Or maybe that is just my experience. I love my mom with all my heart and she is one of my best friends. But the love I have for her is much more layered and complicated. Is it because we are both women? Or the fact that she had much more to do with the daily back and forth of growing up? All the fights and turmoil of teenage girls and their mothers? Or that we talk all the time and she is very much involved with the little details of my life? I don't know.

All I do know is that with my dad it just feels more straight forward and simple. I just love him. He really can't do anything wrong. He gets off the hook with a shrug of the shoulders and an indulgent chuckle for any error. Oh dad...that little cutie.
But even the smallest, well-meaning comment my mom made to me during my formative years will be etched onto my soul forever and undoubtedly will be brought up at the dinner table for the rest of time. Moms just can't catch a break.

I don't feel like I'm expressing this very well probably because I  don't know exactly what I'm saying.

I'm just grateful I have such an amazing dad and that his love and my love for him has been an easy, unconditional, constant in my life. I think that is crucial for daughters.
I know my girls have it with Ben.

Ben is a superstar dad. He is cares and is involved to almost a fault. He is so protective and good with our girls and there is no question in my mind why Rosie and Evie think the world of him.

If you know my Ben, you know he says what he thinks and doesn't give much thought to social graces. Although I do think he is improving. I just finished the book "These Is My Words" (loved it!) and in some ways Ben reminds me a lot of the glorious Captain Jack from the story. His wife writes of him: "In so many things he is rough and ornery, but in ways of our family, he is always so gentle and tender. It is like I am married to two different men. I love them both and need them equally."

I read that aloud to Ben and he commented that I certainly don't love both sides of him because it seems to be what we argue about most. But I do. I'm not sure I always "need" the rougher parts of him but I will take them as part of the complete package. The good in him outweighs the bad a million times over.  My goal is to stop pestering him about that in particular and just let him be himself. He may not put a lot of weight in what other people think (where perhaps I put too much weight), but when it comes to his family-  he knows how to love through and through.

He cares about the details of making people happy-- the little things that I skim over or don't think make a difference. He spends what seems like an eternity to me each night re-tucking in the girls before we go to bed whereas I can be in and out of there in under a minute. He stands in there making sure everything is just so, patting their heads, whispering to them, and making sure they are as cozy and comfortable as can be. He's a wonderful dad and my girls are so lucky to have him. xo


Just for the record, I ran 10 miles this morning. 10 miles in 103 minutes. I figured it better be written just in case I never make it to the half and this is the farthest I ever go. The best part is, I loved it. I got up at six and it was beautiful and kind of stormy and I truly enjoyed it. I had been dreading it all week because the 8 miles I ran last Saturday was hot and horrible and I ached and moaned the rest of the day. Why are some runs SOOOO much easier than others?

I also have learned to love all the open space here. It has always seemed like so much unoccupied dirt to me but I've found a lot more beauty in it since I started running. I couldn't help stopping to take a pic today. I see about hundred prairie dogs and bunnies, tons of birds, a few coyotes, and sometimes even a snake when I'm out there in the morning. Love me some wide open spaces.