Random: 14 weeks, Chocolate, Bedtime stories

I spoke too soon in my last post. Spring had definitely not come and my pregnancy sickness was not over.
We have had the craziest spring storms and more snow in the last couple weeks then we had all winter. It came in huge amounts by blizzard but would be gone within 48 hours. It's been gorgeous the last several days but another storm comes tomorrow. grrrrr. But hopefully it won't be too bad. My sickness came back in the evenings in the form of pounding head aches but I'll take that for now over nausea. 14 weeks pregnant. I feel like I was sick forever but at the same time I can't believe I'm already that far along. So short and so long all at once.

One problem with never getting around to blogging is that when I finally do, there are so many small and random things I want to write about it's hard to put together a coherent, focused post. And so I'm not even going to try.

I went to my 12 ultrasound about a week and a half ago and  it was amazing. Up until now this little baby hasn't looked like much but this time it was a moving, kicking, bouncing baby and took my breath away. I loved it. That appointment made everything more real for me and all the days of feeling crumby so worth it.

The ultrasound tech was trying to convince me not to find out the gender at our 20 week appointment and I'm surprised that I'm actually considering it. Ben isn't for waiting and I don't think I'm made for it either but I do think it would be an awesome experience.

Something I have noticed that I know was also true of my last pregnancy, my chocolate addiction has majorly regressed. I'm usually the kind of person that shouldn't have chocolate chips on hand because I'll end up eating half the bag before any cookies are made. But now that's not the case. I'm just not that interested. In fact, while we were in Salt Lake my parents' new puppy got into my diaper bag and ate an entire chocolate bar a friend had given me a few weeks earlier. I had somehow completely forgotten the chocolate was in my bag which would have NEVER happened before. Poor Abby had to be taken to the emergency vet to have her stomach pumped. :( The same goes with ice cream which usually I'm crazy for. Ben made a late night slurpee run for me last night and reminded me how often we frequented the 7-11 when I was carrying my Rose and Eve. I'm definitely a lot hungrier than normal so I'm certainly making up for the chocolate calories I'm not consuming. I wonder though,  how much healthier and perhaps slimmer I could be when not pregnant  if my cravings for chocolate and ice cream were not naturally sky high. It's strange and kind of refreshing to not want it.

Evie and Rose have continued to do much better than expected with their big girl bed. Rosie has been a rock star and has never once gotten out of her bed after we tuck her in at night. Evie on the other hand has been a more challenging which we expected. She has gotten better about going to bed but often sneaks out in the middle of the night. She doesn't wake us up but quietly comes in and finds a place to hunker down. A few times I found her curled up in Clover's dog bed in our room or just on the floor in our doorway around 2 am but lately she ends up on the couch out in the hall. Pretty darling.

We were also having an issue with our bedtime routine dragging on forever. The girls were demanding a million stories and  song after song after song until you were about to lose your mind. We finally instituted a prize box where the girls get some sort of knick knack in the morning if they go to bed after two stories and three songs. It has worked like a charm and bedtime is much more pleasant. 

Another bed time story I want to remember happened a few months ago when the girls were still sharing the same room. They both woke up around 10 o'clock screaming and crying because the smoke alarm in their room was beeping because the battery was low. They thought it was a bird and were terrified. They kept saying: " Birdie! Tweet Tweet!!" and then continued to talk about it for weeks and weeks and how daddy had fixed it.  About a month after, Rosie woke up in the middle of the night crying and complaining about the bird in her room again. I was holding her in the dark and she kept saying there was a bird until we realized it was Evie in the other crib snoring sweetly and making a small whistling sound with her nose. :)

The girls have been talking up a storm and people comment to me all the time how much more vocal they are. Rosie has been helping to translate for Evie a little bit. Yesterday Evie was pointing out an owie on her foot and saying she needed  the "hanta bottle" and Ben kept saying "santa bottle? what's that?" and finally Rosie screamed "HOSPITAL!!".
One of my favorite things lately is whenever one girl is being particularly difficult and throwing a tantrum the other will make it a big point to be sweet and polite. They say "Thank you really much mommy" and "Mommy, look. I'm not crying. I'm happy."

Saturday we had a gorgeous day at the zoo. We saw the sea lion and elephant shows and every animal, ate a picnic lunch, and got ice cream before we headed home. We spent the evening planting flowers and hanging a bird feeder in the back yard. Within 48 hours the birds and squirrels have almost completely emptied it and Rose and Eve have spent lots of time at the window watching the feeding frenzy.
These girls get more and more fun with every passing day.

Easter Holiday

We had great visit from one of my oldest friends Liz a couple weeks ago. I was feeling pretty crumby most of the time and she was so patient and helpful and good with the girls. It was lovely to just hang out and catch up and have an extra pair of hands. Check out these three beauties.


















We then drove out to UT for Tami's wedding and for a visit and had a wonderful time. I loved being there for Tami's sealing and enjoyed catching up with some high school friends at the reception. The girls had a blast running around like crazy and climbing on the tables to blow out the candles.

Easter was perfect. I never miss SLC that much in the winter because the inversion is so terrible but you can't beat it in the spring. It was gorgeous and warm and we had a blast dying eggs, having a hunt, and playing family basketball. The girls are positively in love with their cousins. We went and saw The Croods with Grandpa and Grandma and went to Ella's soccer games. We saw lots of good friends and enjoyed the gorgeous weather and watching General Conference with the fam. We hung out with Daniel and Becca most the day Saturday and loved seeing them too.

 

The only down side was we had an incident with spilled milk in the car which has been quite the ordeal trying to remedy. I seriously gag whenever I open the door.  I've tried baking soda, vinegar, and having the seats and carpets professionally cleaned but it isn't completely gone. I left the windows open to try to air it out and our Garmin and Ben's old ePad tablet were stolen out of the car because I forgot they were in there. boo.

We are home and hopefully saying good bye to the last of winter's storms. The sun is out melting it all away. The girls have loved watching all the robins jumping along the grass and up into the trees. Ben worked like a maniac while we were gone cleaning out the garage, putting in shelves and installing a new garage door opener, taking care of odds and ends, cleaning, and converting the girls cribs into toddler beds. He's incredible.

 I cherish nap time so very much (especially with my recent narcolepsy) and have been worried about making the transition into beds for a while. But the girls have been AWESOME. They love their new beds and stay in them and sleep like little angels. Surprise, surprise.

 I also feel like I've rounded a corner with this pregnancy and am feeling a lot better. 11 1/2 weeks. Still tired...but nothing like before and my nausea is gone most of the day. It is so fabulous to feel human again and have some energy.  The terrible symptoms offered some reassurance that things were still going ok but I'm staying positive. Ultrasound next week!

Pregnant

I have been hesitant to post anything about this because we've had a rocky start with lots of waiting and worrying. But I am 8 weeks pregnant and thrilled to be so. We had our second ultrasound yesterday and baby is growing right on track and had a heartbeat of 166.

6weeks 6 days: heart beat 123. Bottom right. Tiny arm buds :)

8weeks 5 days. Heartbeat 166. Tech says looks like a gummy bear.

Some details for my own record: We did our frozen IVF cycle the first week in February and I just knew it had worked. I said to my mom and Bea in the transfer room that it just felt right this time. But the dreadful two week wait brought a million doubts with it. I got the worst head cold of my life that week and just felt different. It was hard to determine what was caused by actual pregnancy hormones, the hormones I have to take, and what was just the bug I had caught. I was extremely moody, would wax and wane between being starving and having no appetite (especially at night), things tasted funky, lots of tension headaches in my temples, was queasy and dizzy, had lots of weird cramps, and a back ache.

I took a home pregnancy test at 8dpt and got a very, very faint line but then on 9dpt and 10dpt the line didn't get any darker and we were pretty positive we were out. I was sure it was a chemical  pregnancy and was ashamedly a little bugged that I had felt so positive and reassured every time I prayed about it. We went in for our first beta on 11dpt and it was 48. They want your hcg level to be at least 100 at this point. Definitely positive but definitely not strong. I was told it could be a late implanter and take off just fine or I could be losing it. More waiting. We went in again on 14dpt and it was 182, doubling every 36 hours.(The pregnancy is most likely not viable if the HCG doesn't double every 48-72 hours). On 18dpt it was 1246 and everything was looking pretty positive but we still had the big hurtle of seeing the heartbeat the following week.

Below are some of the shots I would take daily of my hpts to compare the lines. It's pretty brutal sitting there waiting and willing that line to get darker with all your heart. Obsessed much??? I know.


We went in at 6weeks and 6 days for our first ultrasound and made the mistake of bringing the girls. We thought it would be fun for them to see the baby on the screen. But it was total chaos and they were pretty terrible. They kept us waiting FOREVER because they were trying to get my records from the IVF clinic and poor Ben had to drag Rose and Eve out of the office screaming. Then of course I ended up with an extremely insensitive ultrasound tech that found a bleed in my uterus. It's called a subchorionic hemorrhage which can cause problems but is usually totally fine.  She gave a lot of great one liners like: "I'm having trouble finding much of anything in here." and "You're not bleeding yet? Well I'm sure you'll start any day now." and "Well, this could really go either way."

My OB was very reassuring and told me most likely everything would be fine but that she wanted to see me in a couple weeks to check on things. I left the appointment in tears even though we technically did get good news. Ever since then I haven't been able to get everything the tech said out of my head. More worrying.

But I went in yesterday and everything looked great. The bleed is looking better and is starting to absorb. I thankfully had a much nicer tech at this appointment. It has been a long time of feeling like we are in limbo and not sure if we should be excited or worried or if telling people is appropriate. It's hard to keep things a secret when you do IVF however... too many people know you're going through it because it is such an involved process. I have had lots of questions but haven't felt like talking about it much.

I got a hold of a babysitter while I was waiting to see the doctor and Ben and I went out last night to finally celebrate. I needed that.

Even though I am trying to be optimistic, we are of course still very early and not completely out of the woods.

I must say, the whole baby part definitely doesn't feel real yet but the sickness part definitely does. It has been so much worse this time around than it was with the girls (unless my memory is really THAT bad). I'm positively exhausted which is the main reason I never get around to blogging anymore and soooooo NAUSEOUS. I know I'm lucky. I don't throw up and know many women have it far, far worse. But it does get old constantly having the barf lump in your throat and feeling like your limbs are full of cement. Not to mention what seems like a permanent case of the uglies. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But I am grateful.

I am so grateful it worked this time. I still can't believe it.
I am so grateful that even with all the ups and downs, we are still pregnant. 
I am so grateful for the peace I feel when I pray even when I'm filled with doubt.
I am so grateful  to be pregnant with ONE baby.
I am so grateful for a supportive husband that basically does it all when he gets home from work.
I am so grateful  for family and friends listening to me moan and groan.
I am so grateful for this baby and for my two perfect girls that remind me that it's worth it.

A long time coming...

Eeek. I haven't blogged in over a month. The last post I wrote was in January so I've had quite the long break. I'm ready to jump back into it but this post is going to be mostly pictures. Starting out slow. A picture is worth a thousand words- right?

 March is here. February is over. Hallelujah! A wonderful time for new beginnings and new life. I'm so excited for my friend Liz to come visit, to attend Tami's wedding, and to celebrate Easter and Conference with my family. Spring!!!!!  I had some anxiety as February approached because last year was so rough but this year it passed quite pleasantly. We had lots of warm, sunny days and some big snow storms that we really enjoyed. 

A few notes on my two beauties.

It's been a crazy few months with Rose. I'm seriously obsessed with her and love just being in her company. She is talking so much more and says such cute, hilarious things but sometimes I think she is going to drive me over the edge. We saw a movie with the girls a couple months ago, Wreck-it Ralph and I haven't said it out loud but she reminds me of the main character. Wreck-it Rose. She is so very destructive. Sometimes I think it is all just a series of accidents caused by curiosity but other times she seems seriously sneaky and mischievous. Her bent on breaking things started a couple months ago when she stood up on my moms kitchen counter and shattered a very sturdy hanging light with her head. She didn't even bat an eyelash. Recently she has been the leader of some serious marker issues in our house, she moved a chair over to the counter to get a candy heart and broke the lid of my favorite candy dish, she dumped my powdered bronzer out onto the carpet, squeezed out all my facial cleanser into the bathtub, and threw my Clarisonic face scrubber over the balcony and busted it. I promise I watch her and my house is pretty toddler proof...she is just faster and more clever and crazier than I ever expect.

 

I'm certainly not suggesting Evie is completely innocent but she is just so much more content to play quietly by herself and not destroy things. This is a picture of her at Olive Garden making two noodles talk to each other. :)

I have been concerned for a long time about my girls and their language development. I finally had a specialist from the Child Find program out for a home visit and she put a lot of my worries to rest. Evie has suddenly started making a lot longer and clearer sentences and is singing songs like the Alphabet and Twinkle and Twinkle. These aren't very impressive milestones for a 2 1/2 year old I realize but they are progress for us and it makes me happy. Evie has had trouble sleeping lately and often demands to sleep in our room at night in a packnplay by our bed. She is soooooo stubborn.  She keeps talking about a scary witch-- which breaks my heart and confuses me where she even got that idea in her head. Ben noticed  a pattern that Sunday and Monday nights are always the worst of the week and that it probably relates to the fact that we have started a tradition of Family Movie Night (parents lazy night) every Sunday. It has been really fun to check out great Disney/Pixar movies at the library and snuggle up altogether and eat popcorn. The girls LOVE it but I'm thinking we are going to have to do away with it for awhile. We aren't watching scary movies in the slightest but I was reading online how toddlers often have nightmares from watching shows that are too action packed or suspenseful before bed time. Evie has always been very much engrossed with what is on the tube so I wouldn't be surprised if they are related.

 Potty Training. OOOOOOOOOooooooooof. It is seriously the worst. I mean if you are actually doing it.... which we aren't. We had some circumstances where we had to put it on hold and that is where we are right now. Evie is suddenly a lot more interested so both little ladies use the potty a lot...but the lack of commitment on my part if what is holding us back. There is a plan in place but keeping the execution in the future is such a lovely relief. We'll get there. 

A million pictures just because: