Party for Two

 

As soon as I got home from my dad's birthday celebration, I kicked into high gear to get ready for Rosie and Evie's birthday bash on Saturday. We just had people over for dessert but I had a TON of baking to do and I was determined not to leave too much for Saturday so that we could actually go out and enjoy the day. Friday was a long, frosting nightmare but it all ended up well. We took the girls to a local fair to kick off their birthday celebration that night.

Saturday morning I got up early to get my run in and ran into my  super marathon-running neighbor right as she was leaving for her run...ugh. She was so excited to have someone to run with but I wasn't too thrilled. I have never ran with anyone else because I like going my own pace and not worrying about slowing someone down. But we pumped out 11 miles together and it was nice to feel like I could keep pace with her. I got home and we sang happy birthday a few times and let the girls open presents. Then Ben took the girls to the gym so he could workout and I could have the chance to clean the house. Then we went to Mimi's for a birthday lunch and then to the market to pick up balloons and Neapolitan ice cream to match Rosie and Evie's birthday cake.

We had a lovely, unstressed day and a perfect party that evening. It has been unbelievably hot here and Saturday broke the record of being the hottest June 23rd since 1954 reaching 104 degrees. We were hoping to have the party out in the backyard but were forced to mostly stay inside. It was a little crowded but didn't seem to matter much and the house actually stayed pretty clean. The girls ran around like crazy, ate way too much cake and treats, and had a blast.

 

Happy Happy Birthday to my beautiful, perfect girls! Today is their actual birthday and even though most the celebrating is over, Rosie and Evie are still enjoying left over treats and I'm definitely feeling more sentimental today about how fast the time has gone and how big they are getting.

These two honestly have been little angels lately. They certainly have their moments but Ben and I have definitely noticed they are much better behaved than they were a month ago. They are getting better at playing together and love each other so. When one of them gets hurt you will almost always find the other one standing at her side patting her back, trying to give her her favorite toy, and saying "ok, ok?" or "shhhhh".

They have started talking in short phrases like "hi mommy",  "I sorry", "here ya go" and "no nana". We were recording the words they use but stopped keeping track around 50. We are making slow but steady progress. When you ask Evie her name she says "E-V!" and Rosie says "Sissy" from hearing Evie call her that for so long. They both can tell you they are two years old. Lately we have been working on colors and counting. Rosie loves to jump off stairs, ledges, and into the pool and rather than counting "1,2,3" she says "doe, bi, doe". Cutie.

 Rosie and Evie love being outside whether at the park or in the sandbox in the backyard which has been hard with this relentless heat. When we say its time to go night-night Evie will repeat "outside? outside? show? show?" Anything but going to bed. Despite that, Evie seems to sleep better than Rosie now a days. They both take a 2-3 hour afternoon nap and sleep from 7:30pm - 7am. Lately Rosie randomly wakes up in the night or sometimes gives a 6 am wake up call.

They love playing at the gym daycare several times a week and they love going to nursery at church.

Rose and Eve loved their 2nd round of gymnastics class that recently finished and are now going to swimming lessons Tuesday and Thursdays after Ben gets off work. Rosie is a little water baby and Evie is slowly warming up to the idea. They love going down the big water slides on our laps.

Rosie and Evie both love talking on the phone to their daddy and Grandma. They love playing pretend. They put their dolls in the highchairs, put bibs on them, and pretend to feed them. They lay them down and put dish cloths over them and kiss them goodnight. They love having their bears and babies swaddled in blankets. Rosie is very particular about sleeping with a particular blanket and Evie always has to have her baby. They love pulling all the cushions off the couches for jumping. They love reading stories, going to library story time, and have recently detroyed two checked out books I had to pay for. grrrrr

They love to dance, go on walks (if they actually get to walk), and take baths and flood the bathroom floor. They love to wrestle with their daddy and ride on his back through the house. They love to turn on all the floor fans upstairs to full blast.

Rosemary loves fruit and frequently will devour an entire banana for breakfast. She is the taunter. She takes things from Evie just to be a stinker with a very devious look on her face. She loves finding things to dress up in and collecting things in bags and purses to drag around the house. She loves to go through my bathroom drawers and makeup bag and throw my brushes and jewelery off the balcony into the living room. She loves having her nails painted. Rosie loves bringing Ben his socks in the morning and is a daddy's girl through and through.

Evelyn will hardly eat any fruit at all but eats all her vegetables every night. She has the bigger temper of the two and does not appreciate her toys being taken. She loves watching movies and requests "show? show?" constantly. She gets to watch one show a day and her favorites are still Mickey Mouse Club, Baby Einstein, and lately Elmo's World. Evie loves dogs and is always delighted to see Clover in the morning and wants to go pat her and give her hugs and kisses. She also loves Howie the dog we watch a couple days a week. Evie is a big cuddler and loves being held during story time and shows. She will lie next to you still as can be to have her back rubbed and get a baby massage.

These two beauties are the best little girls in the world and I love them with all my heart. I love being their mother and I'm so grateful their mine. Here's to another fun filled year.

Surprise

 My dear old dad turned the big 6-0 last Wednesday and I got to fly in for a very special surprise dinner for him. It was so much fun. We ate at Ruth's Chris Steak House up in Park City and they put us in a back room behind a curtain. We all hid behind the table and jumped out and yelled "Happy Birthday!!" when he came in with my mom. We had a delicious meal and then went home for cake and ice cream and presents. I love being with my family. I love being so close with my siblings and always having so much to laugh about.  I flew in at 4:15pm and out at 6:50 the next morning but it was so worth it. Happy Birthday Poodle :)

Easy

Ben asked Rosie this morning who she loved more, mommy or daddy? She yelled "daddy!" without a moments hesitation. Easy choice. We weren't sure she understood the question so we asked her again. She yelled daddy again and ran and wrapped her arms around him. Hmmm... No big surprise to me I guess. When Evie was asked she looked from me to Ben and kept quiet. Smart girl. She knows a loaded question when she hears one.

This brought on a conversation about how much easier it is for dads to be the favorite. It isn't just because they get to come home at the end of the day and wrestle on the floor and be fun and playful while moms stand at the sink cleaning up dinner. There is just something simpler and special about dads and daughters. Or maybe that is just my experience. I love my mom with all my heart and she is one of my best friends. But the love I have for her is much more layered and complicated. Is it because we are both women? Or the fact that she had much more to do with the daily back and forth of growing up? All the fights and turmoil of teenage girls and their mothers? Or that we talk all the time and she is very much involved with the little details of my life? I don't know.

All I do know is that with my dad it just feels more straight forward and simple. I just love him. He really can't do anything wrong. He gets off the hook with a shrug of the shoulders and an indulgent chuckle for any error. Oh dad...that little cutie.
But even the smallest, well-meaning comment my mom made to me during my formative years will be etched onto my soul forever and undoubtedly will be brought up at the dinner table for the rest of time. Moms just can't catch a break.

I don't feel like I'm expressing this very well probably because I  don't know exactly what I'm saying.

I'm just grateful I have such an amazing dad and that his love and my love for him has been an easy, unconditional, constant in my life. I think that is crucial for daughters.
I know my girls have it with Ben.

Ben is a superstar dad. He is cares and is involved to almost a fault. He is so protective and good with our girls and there is no question in my mind why Rosie and Evie think the world of him.

If you know my Ben, you know he says what he thinks and doesn't give much thought to social graces. Although I do think he is improving. I just finished the book "These Is My Words" (loved it!) and in some ways Ben reminds me a lot of the glorious Captain Jack from the story. His wife writes of him: "In so many things he is rough and ornery, but in ways of our family, he is always so gentle and tender. It is like I am married to two different men. I love them both and need them equally."

I read that aloud to Ben and he commented that I certainly don't love both sides of him because it seems to be what we argue about most. But I do. I'm not sure I always "need" the rougher parts of him but I will take them as part of the complete package. The good in him outweighs the bad a million times over.  My goal is to stop pestering him about that in particular and just let him be himself. He may not put a lot of weight in what other people think (where perhaps I put too much weight), but when it comes to his family-  he knows how to love through and through.

He cares about the details of making people happy-- the little things that I skim over or don't think make a difference. He spends what seems like an eternity to me each night re-tucking in the girls before we go to bed whereas I can be in and out of there in under a minute. He stands in there making sure everything is just so, patting their heads, whispering to them, and making sure they are as cozy and comfortable as can be. He's a wonderful dad and my girls are so lucky to have him. xo


Just for the record, I ran 10 miles this morning. 10 miles in 103 minutes. I figured it better be written just in case I never make it to the half and this is the farthest I ever go. The best part is, I loved it. I got up at six and it was beautiful and kind of stormy and I truly enjoyed it. I had been dreading it all week because the 8 miles I ran last Saturday was hot and horrible and I ached and moaned the rest of the day. Why are some runs SOOOO much easier than others?

I also have learned to love all the open space here. It has always seemed like so much unoccupied dirt to me but I've found a lot more beauty in it since I started running. I couldn't help stopping to take a pic today. I see about hundred prairie dogs and bunnies, tons of birds, a few coyotes, and sometimes even a snake when I'm out there in the morning. Love me some wide open spaces.

Great Gals

Had an AMAZING weekend with some of my favorite ladies. Kim, Shauna, Elizabeth, and Suzanna came to visit from Utah and we had such a nice time. We all met in the Avenues ward right after we got married (about five years ago) and have continued to stay in touch and get closer despite time and distance. We are all so different which only makes the time more interesting and fun. Love these gals.

We shopped, ate out, went to Boulder and Denver, got pedicures, and chair massages at a crazy place in the ghetto. We watched Downton Abby and ate A LOT of ice cream.

The perfect recipe for a perfect girls weekend.

goals and effort

We had an awesome Memorial Day weekend. We FINALLY made it to the Denver Temple and it was wonderful. It has been on our to-do list for too long and we have goals set to get back again soon. I appreciate it even more now that it seems so much harder to go. Sitting and just being still and quiet is such a blessing. We just took turns doing intiatories but even the time I spent out on the grounds with the girls was rejuvenating and sweet. The effort to get there is so worth it.

We also had friends over for a weenie roast and went to a BBQ and a birthday party.

 We ran the Boulder Boulder today which is a really fun 10K jam packed with hooligans. The streets are lined with OLD wrinkled bejeweled women belly dancing, kids passing out marshmallows, doritos, bacon, and beer and spraying runners with water guns and hoses. Bands, karaoke stops, kissing booths, and muddy slip n slides on peoples lawns make for an interesting run. Even with all the distractions, I still felt like it was hard. I have been running five miles several times a week and have done 6.5 a couple times and felt pretty good.  I was counting on adrenaline and the "race day high" people keep talking about to help carry me through but it just wasn't there for me. I had a really great time but it didn't make the actual moving my body part any easier. I felt heavy and slow and that was disappointing.

I had two goals for race day, one spoken and one secret. 
1. Finish in under an hour.
2. Beat Ben.

Failed on both fronts.
I finished the 6.2 miles in 62 minutes which I can live with. It wasn't under an hour but is consistent with the average 10 minute mile pace I've been keeping. I know that seems snail-like to a real runner, but it's pretty great for me.

Ben crushed me. He ran it in 56 minutes. I wouldn't begrudge him at all if I felt like he earned it with more actual training. Basketball, spinning, and 2 mile runs on the treadmill don't count.
He's a rock star.








 I, on the other hand,  have been running my tail off. In fact I'm 100% positive I've covered more miles running in the last month than I have in my entire life combined which is pretty pathetic. I've always hated running with all my heart and have actually gotten to a place where I get some enjoyment from it. Mostly it's just sheer amazement that I am capable of doing it.

Running is rewarding. It makes me happier and less stressed. I love focusing on miles moved instead of calories consumed. It makes me feel strong and healthy. It makes me feel closer to a me I always wished I was. All this is true but I definitely think I enjoy the idea of being a "runner" more than I actually enjoy running. I'm a work in progress.

 I'm signed up to do a half marathon with my sister in July which kinda makes me feel like puking. After today, I'm much more nervous. I always told my self that ONE DAY I wanted to run a half but right now I feel like letting that goal slip into the "before I die" category and out of "plans for the summer". 



Originally, I convinced myself to do it because I'm turning the big 3-0 in a few short months. Time to check off some goals. I'm also hoping to get pregnant sometime around then too and will get good and fat again. No more running for me. And my sister and some other family and friends are all signed up so that is certainly motivating.

Lots of good reasons to run, run, run and seemingly the perfect time to make this happen. It's unfortunate that even with all the best goals, distractions, motivations and support in the world there are no short cuts. YOU have to put in the training, the effort, the time and pound out every... single...step.
Which is the best and the worst of it. Mostly the worst.

Ta-da!

Ta-Da! number 1 is the fabulous backyard that Ben worked tirelessly on mostly while I was away in Salt Lake about a month ago. He has since been making additions including the Aspen trees in the planter box behind the fire pit, the garden of flowers in the corner box he gave me for Mothers Day, and the solar lights that are now around the perimeter of the yard. Eventually we will add some more plants and perhaps a flagstone pathway leading up to the fire pit. My favorite part of the whole thing is all the new lovely grass. So much of the yard was unusable beforehand and there was basically just an oval of grass surrounded by a bunch of gravel. What kid wants to play on rocks?

 I'm totally sold on the fire pit now even though I wasn't so sure when Ben was originally scheming. We have had a few weenie roasts out there and it's pretty great. One of my favorite activities has always been driving up the canyon for a good roast and we haven't found a good place to do that in Colorado yet. Quite convenient right out in the backyard.

Ben and I have enjoyed just sitting out there at night after the girls go to bed. He really did an awesome job.

Backyard Before:

Backyard After:

My less interesting Ta-da number 2 is that I finally went and got PRK done on my eyes last Friday. My very generous parents offered to pay for one eye for each of my siblings for Christmas and I've just been trying to work out the odds and ends since. PRK is for those that don't qualify for LASIK and has a much longer recovery period. I had kinda abandoned the whole idea after Erin had it done by a sadist friend of my dads and spent the weekend moaning on the bathroom floor and claiming she needed to be hooked up to an IV at the hospital. Pretty rough. But after Alex had a smoother recovery and being totally fed up with all my contact issues, I decided to brave it anyway.

I was fortunate enough to go to a real doctor and didn't have such an unpleasant experience. Sunday was pretty darn painful and I spent the entire day knocked out on pain killers in my darkened bedroom...which definitely had its perks, not gonna lie.:)

When I wasn't in my bedroom...actually even when I was in my bedroom...I walked around like this. Or even less attractively with a scarf wrapped multiple times around my face which we didn't capture with a picture. Today my vision isn't perfect yet (it takes awhile to fully heal) but I'm feeling pretty much 100% and very grateful to be out of the dark and not have to deal with contacts anymore. Hooray! Thank you to my parents and Benny for making it possible.

Happy Moms

 “During my professional career as a doctor of medicine, I was occasionally asked why I chose to do that difficult work. I responded with my opinion that the highest and noblest work in this life is that of a mother. Since that option was not available to me, I thought that caring for the sick might come close. I tried to care for my patients as compassionately and competently as my mother cared for me.
Many years ago the First Presidency issued a statement that has had a profound and lasting influence upon me. “Motherhood,” they wrote, “is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”
Russell M. Nelson, 


And so, my dear young women, with all my heart I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors. Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them, not after celebrities whose standards are not the Lord’s standards and whose values may not reflect an eternal perspective. Look to your mother. Learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness. Listen to her. She may not be a whiz at texting; she may not even have a Facebook page. But when it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the Lord, she has a wealth of knowledge…No other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness—in this life and forever.
M. Russell Ballard

May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. Rely on your Father in Heaven. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.” You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging.”
Elder Jeffery R. Holland


May each of us treasure this truth: One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother are partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, they are as one.
President Thomas S Monson

Last Wednesday for Activity Days we had a mother/daughter dessert night and I used the above quotes as talking points. I thought they were worth sharing. We also played a guessing game where I read answers to questions I had collected from the mothers. The girls had to figure out when I was spotlighting their mom. Then we passed out the gifts the girls made and each mother/daughter stood up and said something that they love about each other. It was a really nice evening. Lots of the girls said things about their moms making food for them or reading to them or doing their laundry. Two responses from the eight year old girls included:  "I love my mom because she is always so cheery" and "I love hearing my mom laugh."

These two little sentences and a conversation I had with one of my dear friends that afternoon about the stresses of motherhood have been spinning in my head this weekend.

I hit a rough patch this winter. I wasn't a very happy mother. I spent a lot of time crying, worrying, complaining and just feeling down. I feel like a totally different person than I was a few months ago. I am happy. And this I realize is a gift to myself and to my children (and to Ben no doubt).

I grew up in a happy home with a happy mother. I have such fond memories of specific times being with my mom when she was laughing so hard she couldn't catch her breath and had tears running down her cheeks. In San Francisco making fun of my dad and his too tight shoes, sitting next to her on an airplane taking some very close up pictures, and dumping popcorn all over each other in the movie Where the Heart Is. Happiness. Even now, I can't think of many things that bring me more comfort than calling my mom and hearing her stories and her laugh. Thank you Mom.

I think there are few gifts that you can give your children that are better than just being happy. When moms are happy, it spreads throughout the house. Happy moms create happy kids who feel more safe and secure in their world.

As moms we are drilled with pressures, stresses, and guilt. Things we should be doing with our kids, things we should be teaching our kids, places they should be going, classes they should be enrolled in. We want to give our children everything. But I think being a happy, "cheery" mom trumps them all. Of course we should be bending over backwards for our kids. Of course our world should revolve around them. Motherhood by trade, is going to come with a truckload of self sacrifice. But don't forget about doing the things that make you happy. Seek out those things and make time for them. Figure out the things that really weigh you down or stress you out and if you can, reduce or eliminate them. Just be happy. For you, for your husband, for your children.

I spent 11 glorious hours in bed Saturday night and woke up this morning to chocolates on the kitchen table and a garden of flowers all set up outside ready to be planted. Including three little lilac bushes. :) Thank you to my Ben for being so good to me all day and always.

After weeks of close to perfect church behavior and a very sweet, snugly weekend, Rosie and Evie were particularly monstrous today. They don't perform well under pressure, I suppose. But I am sure thankful for them. Here is my sweet Evie, hoarding all the bears and babies that she can possibly get her hands on. And my silly Rose, trying on clothes she fishes out of bins from the laundry room. When I found her she was trying to put on one of her daddies socks. Oh they are dear. 

We met up for a movie night with some great friends later that evening. Being able to put the girls to bed at other peoples houses gives me the sense of some fabulous freedom we haven't had for a while. All in all, it was a wonderful Mothers Day.